I have a love/hate relationship with coffee.  

During the times that I am drinking it, I feel like I'm going really fast and getting a lot done.  My mind jumps from thing to thing and I make a bit of progress on one thing before moving on to something else -it's rapid multitasking.

At the same time, my dream life is all over the place.  I can easily have 4, 5, or more different sequences that have no logical transition or connection between them.  I just jump from one scenario into something entirely different with no notice ore forewarning at all.  It can get so random and chaotic that I don't even bother trying to remember -much less document- the experiences, since they seem to be so much noise and nonsense.  Sometimes it can be fun, but it can be exhausting trying to keep up.

At the time of this writing, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last cup of coffee.  I've gotten through the headaches and the overwhelming desire to fall asleep at my desk. Things are starting to change.  

Today at work I had one of the calmest days in recent memory.  I stayed focused on (only) 3 things all day long and completed 2.5 of them.  The best part was that I didn't feel anything pulling my attention away from what I was doing with that powerful (yet false) sense of urgency that I've grown accustomed to.  

In the Subtle World -in my dreams- things are becoming more steady as well.  The dream sequences have become longer and I've had clearer and more relaxed vision and more cognition.  I've been able to focus and think about what I was doing and what I was saying to people.  With the increases sense of presence and awareness, recall of my experiences has been easier as well.

Overall I am experiencing a vast improvement in both my waking and sleeping lives.  A poised and steady mind makes a world of difference in the quality of life.  

Disclaimer: During this same time, I have also added approximately 30 minutes of extra meditation time per day, so I cannot claim that caffeine elimination in itself is the cause of all these benefits... but it doubtlessly is a contributing factor.

The Reality of Imagination

Science has proven that if a person sits down and imagines themselves in a heated argument, that the exact same centers of the brain are activated as when a person is actually in a heated argument. While the flow of neuron interactions may be different between real and imagined events as this article indicates,:

https://www.livescience.com/49244-imagination-reality-brain-flow-direction.html

...the same neurological networks within the brain are engaged. Indeed, anyone who has found themselves thinking of any kind of emotionally-charged interaction after the fact, can confirm that the exact same emotions that they experienced during the interaction will surface while simply thinking about it. On a similar note, all of the incredible, very real inventions that make our lives so good have been discovered by way of the imagination of the inventor. In both instances, imagination becomes reality. 

My experience has been that my consciousness does not differentiate between ‘real’ and ‘imagined’. Both seem to occur with equal reality to my mind. If I think about an upsetting event (real or imagined), I get upset. If I think about playing with my favorite pet, I get all warm and happy inside. So it kinda makes me wonder, when I leave my physical body at night and have experiences in the subtle world (i.e. dreaming), just how real are these experiences? However bizarre the circumstances, however strange the juxtaposition of events or things, my mind perceives and experiences them as being real. 

What does that mean for me in a practical sense? After giving this some thought, I think this question is best answered with a question: what do I want in life? Like most people, my answer involves the goal of happiness. So how do I get this happiness in my life?

The way I see it, the quality of my dreams - good or bad - just like the quality of my life in the physical world, depends wholly upon me. When my thoughts tend toward the positive, and I genuinely feel drawn to goodness, be it beauty, truth, benevolence, I will find myself attracted to people, things, and situations that reflect these qualities. On the other hand, if my thoughts are drawn to things such as addictions, hate, or anger, then I find myself being drawn to other people, things, and situations that reflect those qualities. I have been able to actually observe this in my life. 

For instance, I used to have a fascination for news stories about people who did crazy stuff while on drugs. I would be browsing the news and find a bizarre headline with a couple of weird pictures that I couldn’t resist clicking on, and I’d read the story and marvel at whatever the story had to offer. Then at night, I would quite often find myself (in my dreams) hanging out with people who were doing drugs. So I tried a thought-experiment - I stopped clicking on and reading stories of that nature. And you guessed it - I stopped having dreams about being around those kinds of folks. In fact, I found myself having a much broader variety of experiences that included some pretty amazing things! 

Suddenly my thoughts became far more important than they used to be. And I guess I finally, really accepted that I am “the captain of my own ship” when it comes to what kinds of thoughts I have. If I’m after happiness in the physical or subtle worlds, then I need to go to where I want to be - with my mind. Simple as that.

With peace and serenity in my daily life, my subtle world (or dream) life is very much more pleasant and the colors are more vivid.  When I'm irritated, worried, or super distracted in my waking life, my dreams are extremely chaotic and seem to have no rational connection to each other whatsoever and are often quite dark and gloomy.  This is all stuff we've talked about before.  However...

I've been having more success with meditation lately, and I find it to carry over into my daily living and now I see how it is affecting my dreams as well.  When I get meditation "right", I generally feel lighter during the day.  I mean that I don't feel so attached to all the things that happen around me and just tend to observe and appreciate things more -weather, nature, people, my health.  My mind is more focused and I don't let things pull my attention away from what I'm trying to accomplish.  

An interesting question arises: what is MORE real?  The things that are happening outside yourself, or the the things that are happening within?  The so-called "objective" or the so-called "subjective"?  We are human beings having a human life experience.  The things that are going on within us -thoughts, emotions, intuitions, desires, etc.- determine our destiny and life path much more than the physical things that surround us, don't they?  Two people can go through the exact same material experience; one of them it crushes and depresses him for the rest of his life; the other faces it, deals with it, learns, grows, and becomes a stronger person because of it.  What's the difference?  The inner nature of the individuals.  Isn't that inner nature, then, at least as real as the thing that happened to them?  

Maybe our response to things isn't a response, is what I'm trying to say.  Maybe we have anger, irritation, or lust as PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS, embedded in our consciousness first.  Maybe that is the reality.  It's not that someone cuts us off in traffic and then we get upset; it's that we are upset and then someone switched lanes in front of us.  When we're in the subtle world, where the matter is maleable in response to thoughts, those pre-existing conditions materialize as part (or whole) of our subtle world experience. 

I believe this is true.  And it's about time I begin taking more responsibility for establishing more wholesome and beneficial pre-existing conditions in my consciousness.